Views On The World

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Thursday, August 24, 2006

Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...

I am well aware that I never posted yesterday and I am now posting this way late on Thursday, but some job prospects have kept me away from the computer. FYI...tomorrow's will be late also...


YES Kids...once again, THE COUCH will bring you it's take on news around the world...


Tom Cruise Dumped By Paramount Pictures - Was it his asking for too much dough for the new contract, or was it his off-screen antics like his constant push for Scientology, his ripping of Brooke Shields, the whole Suri episode?
THE COUCH'S TAKE: Hey...anyone who jumps up and down on a couch must be a bit looney. I spoke with Oprah's COUCH and I have to tell you, it was not happy to have this knucklehead putting his shoes all over it.

Shannen Doherty Has A New Reality Show - On this show, "Breaking Up With Shannen Dougherty" is about couples in trouble and has Shannen as a sounding board and she helps the to breakup.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: S.D. has been married and divorced twice. So, she certainly knows the ins and outs of breaking up...but c'mon...give me a break! (ummm THE COUCH didn't mean to use that pun!)

France To Send 2,000 Troops To Southern Lebanon - This represented a turnaround for Paris, which drew criticism last week after announcing it would only double its current 200-troop contingent. France's role as mission commander then came under pressure, with Italy expressing a willingness to take the lead role and pledging up to 3,000 troops. This was a major step toward expanding it more than a week after a cease-fire took hold.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: OK, cease-fire is in place...they get threatened with losing their role as mission commander and now they send more troops. Typical of the French who have never defended themselves once in the world and have always looked to others to save them. "Hey, no one is fighting...let's act like big shots now." PATOOEY!

Katherine McPhee Is Not Counting Calories - Ms. McPhee says her diet on the AI Tour does not consist of healthy foods, is not working with an eating coach and "...I don't do any weird, disordered eating things anymore, thank God."
THE COUCH'S TAKE: Gotta tell you..it looked like she was stretching out the long black gown a bit in Louisville and I can see her becoming a bit hefty...and here comes the Steven Spielberg movie...nah, THE COUCH won't even go there.

Scientists Downgrade Pluto - The International Astronomical Union has decided that Pluto is no longer a planet in our solar system. Pluto, a planet since 1930, got the boot because it didn't meet the new rules, which say a planet not only must orbit the sun and be large enough to assume a nearly round shape, but must "clear the neighborhood around its orbit." That disqualifies Pluto, whose oblong orbit overlaps Neptune's, downsizing the solar system to eight planets from the traditional nine.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: Wave those plush toys all you want scientists, but THE COUCH ain't changing...Pluto is a planet and you will all be haunted by the ghosts of Walt Disney and Clyde Tombaugh. the man who discovered Pluto. And I bet they are all cat people too.

Fantasia Barrino's New Movie - Titled "Fantasia Barrino: Life Is Not A Fairy Tale" traces her road from her childhood to being a poor single mom to her success as the winner of Amercan Idol. It is airing on the Lifetime Network.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: ummmm...let's see..grow up poor..have a child at 17, try out against millions of other people for a reality TV show...win that show.... big recording contract...making a ton of money...THE COUCH thinks that sounds JUST LIKE A Fairy Tale!

Sprinter LaTasha Jenkins tested positive - She tested positive for the anabolic steroid nandrolone in July. The test was done in July by the International Association of Athletics Federations in Europe. As of now only the "A" test has been completed. If the second "B" test is positive, Jenkins could face a minimum two-year ban from competition. Jenkins is trained by Trevor Graham, who has also coached Justin Gatlin, Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery. Gatlin and Jones have also tested positive within the last year.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: Yo..Folks...the testing has improved to where you can't do this stuff any longer...and why would you continue to associate yourself with someone who obviously endorses this stuff. But you do, so just SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!

Former "American Idol" Contestant Mikalah Gordon Robbed - She and a friend were robbed on a sidewalk in a neighborhood about seven miles northwest of the Las Vegas Strip. Seems the robbers got $5 and a cell phone.
THE COUCH'S TAKE: This is a story why exactly??????????????????

Well..THE COUCH has spoken...and I know you all feel so much better for that!

bwahahhaahahahahahahahahahaahaaaaaaaaaa

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.




5 Of Your Sparks

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. So perturbed this was late that now I have to go back and read it all over so I can make an intelligent coment about whatever it was you wrote today ... good on you about the prospects, though.

     
  3. Turnberry Says:
  4. See Paramount should have had Shannen broker that whole break up with Tom Cruise thing. Then we could watch.

     
  5. Fred Says:
  6. Here's another good look at the Pluto decision.

    In our house there was always only one Pluto. Disney's version was much better than the scientist's silly little planet.

     
  7. DAMM Says:
  8. "....Seems the robbers got $5 and a cell phone.
    THE COUCH'S TAKE: This is a story why exactly??????????????????"

    because they were robbed by maurice clarett. seems the minutes ran out on the last cell phone he stole.

    "go bucks"

     
  9. Bond Says:
  10. Anon...ummm OK...help me someone!?

    TURN: Dang it I wish i had come up with that angle

    FRED: Good to see you boyo... I agree...Pluto has two ears and a tail

    DAMM: Another witty statement from the duck... heres a cracker!

     

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