Gail, And Name That Kid....

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...

Let's all Welcome Gail to THE COUCH... her blog Doing This For Myself is a journey into her last year of school and her two kids.

Yesterday we hit on a few of the names celebrities have given to their kids and in the comments section Coco spoke of some names they "considered" when they adopted their wonderful son Brennan. What I did not do is read the name in it's entirety...

Her last name is Masson (pronounced Mason) and the names she floated were Stone Masson, Perry Masson, or Jason Masson and Mason Masson.

I totally missed the humor..DOH

Well these celebrities actually did saddle their kids with names that, in my humble opinion will cause these kids stress and pain for their entire lives.

Well.. with all the money they will inherit, they can buy happiness I guess...

OK, no lectures on the fact that money will not buy happiness...when I have some I will see!

I've listed the parents, their occupations, the kids name and the sex of the child (believe me in many cases, you will need that!)
Erykah Badu / Andre Benjamin (Andre 3000)
Musician / Musician
Seven Sirius (son)
Think they have stock in the company?
Erykah Badu / Tracy Curry (The D.O.C.)
Musician / Musician
Puma (daughter)
Asking the same question…stock options? And I guess mom names the kids...! With a name like Erykah (Erica??) I guess she didn't want to be alone on the "weird-name-bus".
David Bowie / Angela Bowie
Musician / Model
Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones (son)
Known the world over as Zowie Bowie!
Toni Braxton / Keri Lewis
Musician / Musician
Denim Cole (son)
He fits snug on the hips and flares at the bottom?
Pierce Brosnan / Keely Shaye Smith
Actor / Model
Dylan Thomas (son)
Born to be a writer.
Cher / Sonny Bono
Musician / Musician and Policitian
Chastity (daughter)
This one is too easy. Maybe because Cher never knew the meaning of the word?
Tom Cruise / Katie Holmes
Actor / Actress
Suri (daughter)
OK, enough of the Cruise-meister jokes! Well.. maybe not!
Richard Gere / Carey Lowell
Actor / Actress
Homer James Jigme (son)
Now..this sounds like he could be a porno star! Was he born while gere was filming THE AMERICAN GIGOLO?
Lance Henriksen / Mary Jane Henriksen
Alcamy (daughter)
Is she a science experiment?
Barbara Hershey / David Carradine
Actor / Actress
Free (son)
How hippie can you get?
Michael Hutchence / Paula Yates
Musician / TV Host
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily (daughter)
OK, I stand corrected...THIS IS hippie?
Penn Jillette / Emily Jillette
Comedian and Magician
Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter)
C’mon Penn…YOU are strange enough without doing this to a daughter.
Simon LeBon / Yasmin Parvaneh
Musician / Model
Amber Rose Tamara (daughter)
Saffron Sahara (daughter)
Tallulah Pine (daughter)
Are they all named after their favorite air freshener scents?
John Cougar Mellencamp / Elaine Irwin
Hud (son)
“Gee honey…there is this movie I really loved as a kid…”
Spec Wildhorse (son)
Let’s play cowboys and Indians.
Rob Morrow / Debbon Ayer
Actor / Actress
Tu Simone Ayer (daughter)
Note: As in, Tu Morrow.
Is this an Abbott & Costello routine...Who's On First? Third Base!
Jamie Oliver / Jools Oliver
Chef / Model
Poppy Honey (daughter)
Add a touch of this...a pinch of that....
Daisy Boo (daughter)
What? He ran out of favorite spices?
Gwyneth Paltrow / Chris Martin
Actress / Musician
Apple (daughter)
More stock options?
Moses (son)
Yeah.. put the weight of a whole race on his shoulders!
David "Puck" Rainey / Betty Rainey
Reality TV Star
Bogart Che Peyote (son)
An idjit giving his kid an idjit name. I mean, at least "Puck" is a nickname!!
Ving Rhames / Deborah Reed
Reignbeau (daughter)
Shes got colors.. bright bright colors (should have given her the middle name of Brite)
Freedom (son)
Sound it out… Freedom Rhames (like I should have done when Coco commented about names!)
Robert Rodriguez / Elizabeth Avellan
Rocket Valentin (son)
So, when he is bad, dad can say “Bam to the moon?"
Racer Maximilliano (son)
Go speed racer..go
Rebel Antonio (son)
OH yeah this kid will not be trouble.. “You are a Rebel Rebel”
Rogue (son)
He could be a spy… a Rogue agent!
Rhiannon (daughter) see.. now this I do like. She might be the only normal kid in the family.
Sylvester Stallone / Jennifer Flavin
Sophia Rose (daughter)
Sistine Rose (daughter)
Scarlet Rose (daughter)
C’mon Sly…. No originality with middle names?
Roger Taylor / Deborah Leng
Rufus Tiger (son)
Tiger Lily (daughter)
Growl Growl
Lola Daisy (daughter)
Is she the unliked daughter? No Tiger????
Isaiah Washington / Jenisa Marie Washington
Isaiah Akin (son)
ummm Isaiah Isaiah? That is sooo wrong!
Robert Van Winkle (Vanilla Ice) / Laura Giarritta
Dusti Raine (daughter)
Keelee Breeze (daughter)
These guys like weather obviously...Ice...Raine...Breeze
Frank Zappa / Gail Zappa
Dweezil (son)
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan (son)
Moon Unit (daughter)
Diva Muffin daughter)
Well it IS Frank Zappa!
Marc Bolin (no mother listed)
Another rhyme time playa... Rolin Bolin
Shannyn Sossamon / Dallas Clayton
Audio Science (son)
These two should not be allowed to procreate ever again! unoriginal are we.... Matthew Vincent... LOL... but there IS a story behind that!

When thinking of names, we were close to Alexander (which was supposed to be my name when I was born - mom changed it at the last moment).

Then one day when talking to dad, he said the following...
"If it's a boy and you name him Matthew, his initials would be MM as in Mickey Mantle"

I liked the idea being a huge YANKEE FAN..

You did know that right ----HUGE YANKEE FAN?

So, I suggested Matthew to Allyson, but left out the Mickey Mantle reference.

She also liked the name and he was christened Matthew Vincent Marini.

About 6 months later, I told her where the name came from...I got a punch in the arm for that one! LOL
So, what causes parents to give their kids bizaar names?

Is it to make them stand out from the Matthews and Williams and Steves and Sallys and Anns and Marys and Elizabeths?

Do parents not see the consequences of the kids going to their first day of kindergarten or Junior High or High School?

Or, once again, is it because they are so wealthy, they figure that their "status" will off-set the ribbing their kids will get.

Or is it that the schools these kids end up in are filled with kids with odd names, so no one notices?
I will end with this one thought though.. No matter what kind of school he goes to
Sossamon-Clayton will have kids pointing and laughing...

He better start lifting weights at an early age!
Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.


Remember .. Nets For Malaria - - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

22 Of Your Sparks

  1. Liz Hill Says:
  2. Looks like the "boy named Sue" had it easy

    Being an 'Elizabeth'--family name--my Dad's mom was Ann Elizabeth and my Mom's mom was Elizabeth Pansy----I guess I had to work harder to make myself stand out. Hmmm-- do you think I succeeded?

  3. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to mention the Zappa kids... LMOO

    I am a name sake... my father's middle name was Lee and my mother's middle name is Ann so... I'm LEE ANN!!

    My son's name is also a namesake.. Matlock Lee... My grandfather was a Matlock and he has my first name... Yes, he does get teased sometimes... but that's life.

    Kaitlin Kayeann on the other had only has her middle name as a name sake... after both her grandmothers

    I'm in a rambling mood today...sorry

    HUGS & GROPES!!!

  4. Anndi Says:
  5. So, I am also a girl with a family name. I was born on my great-grandmother's birthday - her name was Marie-Anne.. So.. I am named Ann..(as a French-Canadian catholic there's also a Marie in there somewhere...)
    My daughter is Alice Ann Jasmine - Alice was her great-grandmother's name and she is also named after me...
    The common trait in all these women: we have a strong character and sense of who we are.

    If parents are relying on the child's name for them to stand out, they have failed at their most important job.. parenthood.

    Hey.. Elizabeth Ann, Lee Ann, Ann ... I detect a trend...

  6. Anonymous Says:
  7. Well, our last name is Myhan....I so wanted to name Chandler "Holden" instead!!

    Robby would have none of that. LOL I still think it would have been the cutest name ever!

  8. Coco Says:
  9. Hey, what about the one and only Superfreaky? I think Prince Michael, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine and Prince Michael II are deserving of honorable mention. Poor, destined-for-psychiatric-evaluation little kids ... no, maybe this one's just too pitiful to poke fun at.

    BTW, Bond, I have a student here named Dusty Stone (not even a middle name to soften the blow). His three siblings are named Roland (Papa was a ...), Rosetta (not gonna touch that one ...) and Barney (think about it for a minute). Proof that life on other planets exists, and it ain't particularly intelligent?

    My heart goes out to poor little Audio, though. Does he/she/it ever have a rough life ahead! Hope homeschooling is an option.

  10. Coco Says:
  11. Oh - almost forgot one. Sweet girl, grade ten, transfer student in the middle of the year. I receive her records, look at the name:


    my lips move, but no sound comes out as I decipher it. "Krispin?" I finally manage, weakly. The girl smiles, nods and takes a seat with the rest of the class as I silently thank God for that old game show (Canadian?) where you had to decode license plates. Then, in horror, I hear myself brightly stating what was foremost on my mind "Just like a license plate, isn't it, dear?" Open mouth, insert foot.

  12. Anonymous Says:
  13. From the mind of Meribah:

    I don't really have a problem with parents giving their kids names that are a bit different from the norm. It helps to keep things interesting! And the beauty of a name is in the eye of the beholder, is it not? That said, there is no way I can defend the name "Audio Science." LOL Come on!
    Anyway, while we're on the subject of names, I was named after a character on a soap opera...which probably explains why I turned out to be so normal and unassuming! **big smirk**

  14. I too detect a thread Ann...

    Oh Robs... that would have been absolutely ADORABLE!!!! I love it!

    Yeah, I know I'll get my hand slapped by snugglebritches...but it will be well worth it!

  15. Gail Says:
  16. I named my youngest son after his two grandfathers. Dad is Ernesto, Husband's dad is Richard...

    Voila -- ERIC!

    And it is a REAL name!! HAHA!


  17. Anonymous Says:
  18. My hubby wanted to name our daughter, Amethyst Mercedes, I stood firm with Krystle Elizabeth!

  19. TURN: What was the question? LOL yes you have.

    DIXIE: Using family names is what it should be about IMHO.

    ANNDI: Agreed that the name is not what makes a person standout.

    ROBZZZ: OK, it is a cool name, but I only have to think that in high school there would have been some ribbing going on...

    COCO; I know I stayed away from the Jackson situation and I actually did it on purpose. There are those I refuse to discuss.
    That family at your school, the parents..have they been drug tested recently..sound like there might be some pot smoking going on during the naming sessions.
    How could anyone do that to their child cruel..

    WHICH REMINDS ME..there was a couple (Seattle I think) that instead of adding the Jr. to their sons name they use v.2 too odd, but at least the kid doesn't have to use it!

    MERI: Slightly different names are one thing. The African American community has been doing it for years, twisting traditional names slightly - See Erykah (Erica).. but some of these are off the chart.

    DIXIE: And why oh why would I slap your hand?

    GAIL: Again, a nice way to include the family traditions.

    DUCKLES: Hey I think this is a first post for you..welcome...I think your idea was much nicer.

    FYI all.. I am Vincent Ernest, Jr
    thus my dad is Vincent Ernest...his dad was Ernest...his dad was Vincent...Matt's middle name, as mentioned is Vincent... keeping it in the family.

    And my brother's two daghters have what i call "old school" names - Amelia (after our paternal grandmother and Adele (after our paternal aunt). Not common but both beautiful.

    And the girl name I always wanted to use (if I had one) was Jacqueline Danielle... hmmmm wonder why? LOL

  20. Coco Says:
  21. You wouldn't name your kid after an alcoholic beverage, not really!!! And that family is named Stone, not stoned. However, 17+ years ago, not too sure about their state of mind ...

  22. Amanda Says:
  23. I got a good old fashioned name. And you know when you're raised southern your middle name might as well be attached to your first. I was always gonna be Amanda but at the last minute I went from Amanda Lynn to Amanda Lee. My mother didn't want me confused with a mandalyn. And duckles, my dogs name is Mercedes! Only way Im ever gonna own one! :P

  24. Rainbow Says:
  25. Well I was named....or so my Mom tells me....after an old girlfriend of my biological Father...Mom wanted to name me Karla Sister is Marsha Ann (hmm what happened to Karla?), my Brothers are Larry Michael and Michael Joseph...Irish/Catholics seem to love the name Michael...oh and my Comfirmation name is Collette. Hey Anndi...see all the Anns? LMOO! Thanks Vince..great fun!

  26. COCO: It is a beautiful name.... and I drink Gentleman Jack anyways (giggles into his hand)

    Amanda Lynn... hehehe funny... hehehe Your mom was smart Amanda!

    SUE: eek.. an old girlfriend of your dads?? eek ... and mom allowed it ...eek..though i do love the name SueAnn... though you sound southern .. hehehehe

    Confirmation name is Albert after my great-uncle who lived with grandma and grandpa and was the most loving man in the world...even after his wife turned his kids against him..another story tho...

    So..Vincent Ernest Albert is me!

  27. Anonymous Says:
  28. Some friends of mine many years ago were a little panicked as they awaited the birth of their first child. They had a bag packed in the closet, just in case. They had all of their phone numbers in a handy book that they always kept with them, just in case. They had all kinds of little helpers around, always just in case.

    So when their son was born, they named him Justin Case.

    As for myself, the story goes that just after my birth, as I was being shown off, every time my grandmother spoke I would look directly at her and wink. You can call it gas if you like, but my grandmother christened me a born flirt.

    Anyway, she looked down into the bassinet at the hospital and said, "Well of course, this is Travis". My mom tossed in the Alexander, and I became Travis Alexander Cody.

    BTW - I have never been able to wink again in my entire life. Go figure.

  29. Liz Hill Says:
  30. LOL

    Am you have it right--I was Liz Anne or Elizabeth Anne if I was in trouble

    And my confirmation name is Catherine

    So my initials spell EACH

    That has always amused me somehow--

    I went to high school with Forrest and Kelly Green and Kelly Snow White.

  31. TRAVIS: Grandmothers are so intuitive...

    TURN: Kelly Snow White? Parents should be shot..sorry...

  32. Anndi Says:
  33. Want to talk about just plain wrong, and lacking in originality?
    I worked with an electrician who was named.. get this...

    Richard Richard..

    I kid you not! He signed his name R2...

  34. Unknown Says:
  35. Uhm.... ok...well....

    My name is Montez so uhm.......



    Last name??


    I kid you not....


  36. Liz Hill Says:
  37. okay--gotta leave this last one--I know a really good guy--Sheriff's deputy actually----and his given name is Richard

    His mother, when he was very young, remarried and they gave Richard his stepfather's name.....

    Oh you know what's coming

    I swear to god

    His step father's last name was Head.


  38. Scribbit Says:
  39. Yes, truth is definitely stranger than fiction!


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