Friday, October 27, 2006

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Friday, October 27, 2006

“WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE”

“REAL MEN”

Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...“WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE”
edted by author
OK...THE COUCH has reallllllllll problems with this next story…

The website askmen.com put together a poll and well....

This from their website:

Provide us with the names of those men that you consider to be the best representatives of the male gender, along with the reasons why you deem them so.

Who Created the Top 49?

More than 15,000 nominations flooded in, and plenty of supporting explanations with them. And while we managed to hone the nominees down to a final list of 100, refining the defining criteria proved much more difficult. After all, how does one summarize the accomplishments and influence of one man, let alone 49, with a mere few traits?

In the end, we decided to let the list speak for itself. The Top 49 Men of 2006 is the product of more than one million votes cast by AskMen.com readers, and every guy on it possesses some quality, characteristic or virtue that we men prize and strive to cultivate in ourselves. You, the AskMen.com reader, built this list; now get on with reading it.

And here is the list: THE COUCH will comment where it feels it is appropriate

49. Jeremy PivenGuy dates around and is a decent actor - nah

48. Steve WynnGuarantee that he is off this list after ruining a $139 million Picasso with his elbow!

47. Alain DucasseChef - no clue

46. Martin ScorseseHe is cool - HE qualifies

45. Chris BangelHead designer BMW – eh…

44. Jamie FoxxCool actor - HE qualifies

43. Jeremy ClarksonJournalist - no clue

42. Ben AffleckWant to be a real man, make a good movie for gosh sake

41. Anderson Cooper – Cry on TV and you are a man…no really - HE qualifies

40. Richard LiInvestor - no clue

39. Tom BradyFootball player - HE qualifies

38. Quentin Tarantino – Video store clerk to real man? Maybe

37. Roger Federer – Never even heard this guy talk! no

36. Ashton Kutcher – um…an airhead who bed an older woman…nah

35. Michael Schumacher – Race Driver - Maybe

34. Pharrell – Music producer - could be

33. Robert L. Johnson – 1st African-American billionaire - He Qualifies

32. Dave LaChappelle – Photographer/video producer - Maybe

31. Dane Cook – Comedian - ummm nope

30. Alex Rodriquez – Baseball player - Choker - get a hit and then maybe

29. Steve Jobs – Founder Apple Computers - Macs, iPods.. - HE qualifies

28. Justin Timberlake – Pause here to allow for jeers - coughLOSERcough

27. Bono – One Cool Dude - HE qualifies

26. Silvio Berlusconi – Media Baron and Political leader in Italy - Maybe

25. Rupert Murdoch – Slimy media mogul - NO

24. Howard Stern – Media personality – funny guy - maybe

23. Jamie Oliver – The Naked Chef - He ain't really naked...so only Maybe

22. LeBron James – Basketball player – HE qualifies

21. Jude Law – Want to be a real man, make a good movie for gosh sake

20. Russell Simmons – Media/Fashion tycoon - HE qualifies

19. Anthony Bourdain – Chef - no clue

18. Lenny Kravitz – Musician – HUH? Him? What?

17. Kanya West – Singer - Maybe

16. Donny Deutsch – Ad Man/ TV Host – Total JERK - NO way

15. Frank Gehry – Architect - no clue

14. Denzel Washington – Actor - HE qualifies

13. Tiger Woods – Golfer - Almost

12. Jon Stewart – TV Host - HE qualifies

11. Clive Owen – Actor - HUH? Who?

10. Bill Clinton – get it in the Oval Office – You be cool - but only a maybe here

09. Jorge Perez – “Condo King of the Tropics” HUH? - no clue

08. David Beckham – Soccer/Football Star - HE qualifies

07. Johnny Depp – Ummm he reminds me of an out of control teen - Maybe

06. Jerry Bruckheimer – Movie Producer - Close

05. Tom Ford – Fashion Designer - no clue

04. Lance Armstrong – Retired…yeah he is cool…but #4???? nah

03. Richard Branson – Head of Virgin - HE qualifies

02. Jay-Z – Music Tycoon - HE qualifies

01. George Clooney – Actor - HE qualifies

Now…How the hell is Alex Rodriguez on this list and Derek Jeter is not????? Please...that is ridiculous...

And where are (just to name a few off the top of the Cushion):

Michael Jordon

Clint Eastwood

David Robinson

Colin Powell

Keifer Sutherland

John Travolta

Samuel L. Jackson

And even

Mel Gibson (before he crashed)

Mike Ditka (don’t laugh- he is a man - DA BEARS!)

THE COUCH has never been on the askmen.com site, but after seeing the results of this poll, THE COUCH is not sure it wants to be associated with the men who "reside" there....You can see the full listing with their reasons HERE.Cardinals took another one last evening and now lead Tigers 3-1 in World Series...Wonder if it has anything to do with the DuckMaster Outfits?
It certainly has alot to do with the Tiger pitching staff not knowing how to play defense...that is for sure.

HAVE A FANTABULOSO RECLINER WEEKEND...


THE COUCH is heading up to New Jersey to see the Loveseat & Sofa...
Anniversary Weekend and all...22 YEARS
Looking forward to it....


See you all Monday

St. J - P.B.U.A.Q.B.


Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.


Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.




SONG TITLE INDEX:
WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE – Composers: Alice Cooper, Dick Wagner
REAL MEN – Composer: Joe Jackson



14 Of Your Sparks

  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. Wow, that's an awkward predicament, indeed. No fault of your own, though.

    Enjoy the New Jersey air, and have a great anniversary!

    Best wishes, Gretchen

     
  3. Dixiechick Says:
  4. Yes, yes, yes... GO CARDS!!!!!

    Wonder what is happening to the Tiger's pitching and why so many errors and why they can't play defense??????? GO CARDS!!!

    Ummmmm... Vinny, don't do anything that I wouldn't do this weekend ;-)

     
  5. tigersin8 Says:
  6. dam the duck is a real man!

    well not actually

    never mind

    :)

     
  7. Anndi Says:
  8. Clive Owen??? Oh Totally.. *swoooooooooooooooooons*

    Have fun with the rest of the living room furniture!

    Smooches!

     
  9. Bond Says:
  10. GRETCHEN: Yes it is...but I will survive (Maybe I should have used that song!) And TY

    DIXIE: Leaves the door wide open I presume.

    TIGERSIN*: When I get back we will explain the concept of a SEVEN game series! LOL

    ANNDI: OK...I don't know the dude...and TY

     
  11. Coco Says:
  12. Have a wonderful weekend, Vinny. Happy Anniversary!

     
  13. Pia Says:
  14. DAY-UM!!!! Don't you just HATE office politics??? So...does this chica have a red cubicle or a blue cubicle????

    Have a great trip to Jersey and have a wonderful anniversary!!!

    Hugs,
    Pia

    P.S. I must agree with Anndi on the Clive Owen issue...HUMANA HUMANA!!!!

     
  15. Anonymous Says:
  16. From the mind of Meribah:

    Man, that's tough. Sometimes life just kicks you in the buttockal region and all you can do is lean over and take it!
    Anyway, don't worry about it and have a great anniversary!

     
  17. Dana Says:
  18. Poor Vinny...

    I am happy to see Johnny Depp and George Clooney on the list and perhaps it is a bit early to put our Taylor Hicks there but

    WHAT ABOUT HARRISON FORD?

    Oh, and Vinny Bond too :)

     
  19. Sueann Says:
  20. WHAT???? Johnny Depp is a DEFINITE!!!!!!
    And damn it the Tigers lost! Must hide from Dixie...Hey Bro...where can we hide so that CARD fan won't find us??? LOL!

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, VINCE!!!!!!

     
  21. Travis Says:
  22. So, to be a real man, according to this list, I have to be a celebrity - like a pro athlete or a famous actor or a world reknowned chef or architect, or just a dude with a bunch of money.

    **sigh**

     
  23. Lynn Says:
  24. "Welcome To My Nightmare"
    The cream will rise to the top. Any employee, male or female, who has a certain amount of clout within a company will usually feel pushed out when someone with fresh ideas and an eagerness to improve the business comes in.

    "Real Men"
    So men nominated and voted on this list. Just goes to confirm the fact that I have little understanding of the opposite sex!

    And a reply to your reply to my reply to Am's blog on stem cell research...You were right!

    "Disease is a nonpartisan problem that requires a bipartisan solution," he said.

    "Would you support a Republican candidate?" Couric asked.

    "I have," Fox replied. "I've campaigned for Arlen Specter," describing the Republican Senator from Pennsylvania as a "fantastic champion of stem-cell research."

     
  25. Bond Says:
  26. COCO: Thank you

    PIA: LOL well it appears to be confederate...we can't work together since "I am from the southa nd you are from the north" or so I was told
    Thanks for the anniversary wishes and once again ???CLIVE OWEN???

    MERI: Not gonna worry and TY

    DANA: I knew mr. hicks would come up...Harrison Ford is one I forgot..good choice.

    SUE: J. Depp....ummm OK, if you say so...:::still not so sure::: All about errors in the WS...and TY

    TRAVIS: Dude..if they knew you- yu would have been on the list!

    LYNN: Ah yes...Well I am going to let the office stuff die... I didn't vote...believe me..I didn't...Glad M.J. Fox had an opportunity to state that belief...

     
  27. Anndi Says:
  28. ok.. Clive Owen.. KING ARTHUR!!!!
    Ring a bell?
    Oh, and he was in one of my ALL-TIME favorite movies.. Gosford Park..

    He'd make an excellent James Bond you know..

     

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