Monday, October 23, 2006

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Monday, October 23, 2006

"WHO ARE YOU”
“YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME”
“DRY BONES”
“CROSSROADS”
“JAIL HOUSE ROCK”

Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...

OK…so THIS is how THE COUCH got to Memphis:

DENVER - A man with amnesia who had been searching for his identity for more than a month was finally recognized by family and friends in Washington state when he appeared on a television news report asking for help.

Denver police confirmed Sunday that the 40-year-old man is Jeff Ingram of Olympia, Wash.

He had left his home Sept. 6 to visit his mother in Canada but never made a scheduled stop that evening at his fiancée’s mother's house in Bellingham, Wash., according to the Thurston County, Wash., sheriff's office.

Ingram said he found himself in Denver on Sept. 10 and walked around for six hours asking people for help. He ended up at a hospital where police spokeswoman Virginia Quinones said Ingram was diagnosed with dissociative fugue, a type of amnesia. He still has no memory, police said.

During the weekend, Ingram appeared on several news shows pleading: "If anybody recognizes me, knows who I am, please let somebody know."

Ingram's fiancée, Penny Hansen of Olympia, told KCNC-TV in Denver that his family and friends were relieved to learn he was alive and in good condition.

"Thank God he's safe. That's all I care about is his safety," Hansen said.

Ingram had experienced an episode of amnesia in 1995 when he disappeared during a trip to a grocery store. Nine months later, he was found in a Seattle hospital, according to Thurston County officials.

Hansen said stress and anxiety causes the amnesia.

"He was going through a really stressful time before he left here," she said.

People with dissociative fugue typically appear fine but have temporarily lost their sense of identity, are confused and impulsively wander away from home, according to a description from The Cleveland Clinic. It is rare and typically linked to severe stress.

Well… THE COUCH has been very stressed lately….
Can’t see the Utube videos on the computer when at work, the firewalls and all...so this weekend, THE COUCH made it’s way over to FOTW, the great site by brother Rich…and found a posting that contained a great video.

Now, THE COUCH remembers seeing this as a child and, as Rich says, it was when the government could scare the “bullhockey” (Great word Rich) out of you!

If you are under the age of 40, THE COUCH bets you have never ever seen this video (which we saw as a movie in class).

Take the 9 minutes or so and watch it. And laugh at the assumptions made and the solutions to the situations given…yup all you have to do is – “Duck And Cover!”


BUT BUT BUT…Did the DNA match or what? That is the only important factor in this whole silly story from AP:

PRESCOTT, Ariz. - Prosecutors won't seek charges against two men who exhumed the remains of a man who claimed to be the outlaw Billy the Kid.

Tom Sullivan, former sheriff of Lincoln County, N.M., and Steve Sederwall, former mayor of Capitan, N.M., dug up the bones of John Miller in May 2005. Miller was buried at the state-owned Pioneers' Home Cemetery in Prescott nearly 70 years ago.

"It appears officials in charge of the facility gave permission and the people who were attempting to recover samples of the remains believed they had permission to do so," said Bill FitzGerald, a spokesman for the Maricopa County Attorney's Office, which made the decision not to seek charges.

Sullivan and Sederwall obtained DNA from Miller's remains. The samples were sent to a Dallas lab to compare Miller's DNA to blood traces taken from a bench that is believed to be the one Kid's body was placed on after he was shot to death in 1881.

Sullivan and Sederwall have been hunting for the Kid's bones since 2003.

They began their quest in Fort Sumner, N.M., where history says the Kid was buried after then-Lincoln County Sheriff Pat Garrett gunned him down in 1881.

But at least two men — Miller and Ollie "Brushy Bill" Roberts of Texas — claimed prior to their deaths that they were Billy the Kid. Their stories presuppose that Garrett killed the wrong man and lied about it.

After more than a year of fighting to get permission to unearth the Fort Sumner grave, Sullivan and Sederwall dropped their request and decided to begin the process of elimination in Arizona.

They later returned the bones, and Pioneers' Home officials reinterred them in August.

This is where half of you fall off THE COUCH

WARNING…many baseball references follow:

World Series all tied 1 game apiece. THE COUCH has to tell you – as a Yankee fan – THE COUCH so hoped the Cardinals would have tied the game in the ninth and then Detroit win in extra innings (all THE COUCH wants is a competitive series). Why is that you ask? Go ahead…ask, THE COUCH will wait….

Because THE COUCH wanted to see Kenny Rogers’, the Detroit pitcher, head explode.

This moron hasn’t been worth much as a pitcher his whole career. As a Yankee he “pooped the bed” (keeping it clean here) more then anything…and now all of a sudden, he is the second coming of Cy Young!

He has never shown emotion in his whole life - well except when he pushed a camera man and threw his camera to the ground a few years ago -

and now, he is hootin; and hollarin’ and pumpin’ his fists….

THE COUCH heard one sport reporter wanted to do a DNA test, as he was convinced this wasn’t really Kenny Rogers, but some obscure pitcher who had plastic surgery done to look like Rogers.

THE COUCH does not believe that….

THE COUCH is convinced it is the real Kenny Rogers, but before the playoffs began he took a trip to The Crossroads and made a deal with the devil.


"Where is that Kenny Rogers guy"

Wanna bet Jeff Skilling so wishes he could go out like Ken Lay did…

Today, Skilling will learn how long he will have to spend behind bars for orchestrating one of the nation's biggest financial scandals. But not before victims of Enron's 2001 collapse have a chance to address the court.

It is thought he could be spending 20-years or more behind bars.

And in a magnificent, you get what you paid for end to this case, it is reported that his lawyers, O'Melveny & Myers, (maybe he should have gotten Jacoby & Meyers!) have billed $70-millon for their service! (Hummm he paid about $3.5 million for each year he will spend in jail!)

Before his indictment Skilling had put $23 million into a trust to pay his legal bills. His lawyers also received $17 million from the insurance companies that provided Enron with directors' and officers' liability coverage. And now they are requesting an additional $30-million.

THE COUCH: Obscure reference explanation – Jacoby & Meyers are one of those injury law firms and one of the first to begin advertising on TV in the NY market…what THE COUCH likes to call “ambulance chasers”.

THE COUCH'S EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM:

"Due to the removal of cubical walls at Dixie’s current workplace, DIXIE’S HEART & SOUL may now begin posting in the evening…Please make a note of this in your reading schedules.

Now back to your regular programming. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been directed where to ……"

OOPS sorry, THE COUCH was about to DROP AND COVER!
Happy Monday ALL!!!!!

St. J - P.B.U.A.Q.B.


Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.


Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

16 Of Your Sparks

  1. damm Says:
  2. is that a dirt clod i see on your hand?????

     
  3. Coco Says:
  4. Holy Sweet Mary Mother of God! Did they really inflict that on an entire generation of school kids? Duck and Cover? And that was supposed to make you ... what? Feel protected? I can't even laugh about that, Bond! My jaw dropped open and stayed that way as I watched the whole thing. Right down to the clitchy little ditty they wrote about surviving an atomic bomb blast ... I'm not surprised you remember that, actually. I probably would have had nightmares about it for years afterward.

    Ok, then, on to something lighter ... Kenny Rogers and plastic surgery ... hmmm ... there's something there that strikes a memory chord ... oh, not THAT Kenny Rogers? Ok. On to the next topic.

    Enron ... I was kinda hoping the guy would fry in hell. Well, maybe this will be better. I assume he'll be placed in one of those white collar-type prisons. That might even be better ... all those crooked investors out to get him ... In case you were wondering, NBTF had invested a portion of our pension money in Enron ... far-reaching consequences, as you can imagine.

     
  5. Dixiechick Says:
  6. *smooch* thanks for the warning. I will try and post daily, but can't promise anything. oh and....

    GO CARDS!!!! GO CARDS!!!!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

     
  7. Angell Says:
  8. WOW - can't believe they actually were that naive back then. Good thing it didn't have to be put into practise.

    Baseball - BAH. 'nuff said from the Canadian contigency eh?

    Glad you're back.

     
  9. Bond Says:
  10. DAMM: Ummm.. I actually thought he hadn't washed after....oh never mind.

    COCO: Yes they did make us watch that. Hey rememebr it was the cold war and all...
    No not THAT Kenny Rogers! LOL
    Well the pressure killed K. Lay...and you might be right about putting him with people he probably hurt financially...he might be better off in a real jail with people who don't even know what he didi!

    DIXIE: My pleasure to be your EWS!

     
  11. Anonymous Says:
  12. From the mind of Meribah:

    **makes appropriate changes in her reading schedule** Thanks for the update, Bond! LOL
    I actually did see that video about surviving a nuclear attack, or a video similar to it. Mind you, I saw it on a historical documentary-type show, but I still saw it! LOL

     
  13. Coco Says:
  14. Hey - we have a cold war ... from about October to March every year ...

     
  15. Dana Says:
  16. :tacklehugs Bond:

    BTW - I think you made up that video...surely no one actually made that to be serious.

    (They did, replies Bond, and don't call me Shirley!)

     
  17. Lynn Says:
  18. Hey! I have Jacoby & Meyers on retainer!

    Maybe Jeff Skilling should have hired the same lawyers as that rat-bastard, thieving-somabitch Richard Scrushy! Still waiting for justice...........I guess his will come in the after-life too.

    I remember the fall-out shelters from the cold war era. One of them was in the basement of our post office. Stocked with canned good, water, and who knows what else. For all I know, that stuff may still be down there!

    From One Of Your Bond Girls-
    Lynn

     
  19. Bond Says:
  20. MERI: Historical documentary show?????what are you trying to say?????????

    COCO: um oh haha

    DANA: ooooffffff man when you sneak up on me like that....and YES that was very very serious...we had drills just like that in school....and we believed that by doing so would save us.

    LYNN: OOPS! LOL sory that I might have slanderd your attorney's please do not sic them on me.
    I have to admit, I was not sure who R. Scrushy was until I googled him and remembered...
    I bet that stuff is still down there, no one ever checked on them after a while.

     
  21. Sueann Says:
  22. As I understand the drills in the schools were no laughing matter...however they are funny as hell!
    GOOOOOOOOOO TIGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dissociative Fugue? Sounds skeery.

    HUGS!

     
  23. Travis Says:
  24. So the lawyers get $70m. What do the defrauded employees get?

     
  25. Bond Says:
  26. SUEANN: No doubt they are hysterical today...totally amazed how scary they were back then...
    OOOO and someone actually commented on that story...LOL

    TRAVIS: Brilliant...was wondering if ANYONE would go there..took you my friend!

     
  27. Pia Says:
  28. DAY-UM Bond!!!! I wrote this lengthy missive about "duck and cover" and I lost it...wassamatta wid me????

    Anyhoo, I just wanted to say how well I remember those drills. I was in the first grade during the Bay of Pigs incident, and several times a week we crouched against the wall, far from the classroom windows, with our coats over our heads. I always thought it was a game or part of recess - thank goodness my teacher and my parents never told me what it was really about!!!

    Now, here I am, working in the nuclear field (or should I say NOOK-U-LER?). Oh, if I only knew then what I know now. How I miss the wonderful, blissful ignorance of being a 6-year-old during the Cold War. Today, I follow the basic principle of nuclear physics. If there's ever a nuclear attack, I want to be in one of two places: 1) at Ground Zero or 2) far enough away to mumble "Hmmmmmm...what was that???"

    P.S. I have dissociative fugue at least once a day when I pour myself a glass of wine. I forget I drank it and I have to pour myself another...bwahahahahaha!!!!

     
  29. Liz Says:
  30. The loss of Dixie's walls is tragic indeed.

     
  31. Bond Says:
  32. PIA: Maybe after writing it, you "ducked and covered" and after the flash, it was gone! LOL
    Gee..they told us out on Long Island why we were doing it "In case those soulless communist bastards decided to drop a NOOK-U-LER (except they knew how to say it ...LOL) bomb on us...so we would be safe..though I think we did know better...
    I think I prefer option #2... Tahiti perhaps..
    Dissociative fugue...yup I ummm...ah... what was I talking about again!

    LIZ: Break down the walls...nah...in an office keep 'em up!

     

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