Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Thursday, October 26, 2006

“THE CRAWLING BACKWARD MAN”
“PLAYING IN THE DIRT”
“IF I WERE A RICH MAN”

“TICKLE BRITCHES BLUES”

“SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER”

"SCARY MOVIES"

Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...

THE COUCH is having a bit of writers block for our seating today.
So, we will let the world speak for us…
“THE CRAWLING BACKWARD MAN”
Brother Rich sent us this last evening. Funny stuff! Guess he can't get too political over at FOTW

No World Series Game last evening. Moisture in the air in St. Louis. Sure looks like today is bringing about the same. Though if you look at the radar, it doesn’t appear to be that much precipitation in the area.

OHHHHH lookie lookie…THE COUCH is being a weather-person!

“PLAYING IN THE DIRT”

AP- ST. LOUIS - A day later, baseball was still trying to get a grip on what Kenny Rogers had on his hand.

The Detroit pitcher answered wave after wave of questions Monday, making this percolating World Series flap seem like an innocent mistake. Mud, resin, spit, dirt - he insisted that's what everyone saw at the base of his left thumb in Game 2.

An hour or so later, the Tigers found out what St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa thought about Rogers' explanation.

"I don't believe it was dirt," La Russa said. "Didn't look like dirt."

KIDDIES: They saw this in the first inning. Rogers then pitched 7 additional innings and gave up only 2 hits total. Look THE COUCH thinks Rogers is a total ass…but whatever was on his hand only affected his pitching because it got into the heads of the St. Louis batters…Time to let this die.

“IF I WERE A RICH MAN”

AP - DALLAS - Oil industry behemoth Exxon Mobil Corp. said Thursday its third-quarter earnings rose to $10.49 billion, the second-largest quarterly profit ever recorded by a publicly traded U.S. company.

The largest quarterly profit ever was Exxon Mobil's $10.71 billion profit in the fourth quarter of 2005.

They may beat that next quarter, said Howard Silverblatt Standard & Poor's Senior Index Analyst. "Then in all likelihood they will be at that $40 billion mark for the year."

That would put the company on track for the highest annual profit ever by a U.S. company. Exxon Mobil holds that record with a 2005 profit of $36.1 billion.

KIDDIES: THE COUCH is thrilled to have assisted Exxon Mobil in accomplishing this great feat. If they need any additional assistance, THE COUCH would gladly pay $3.00/gallon again. All you have to do is ask. NOT.

“TICKLE BRITCHES BLUES”

AP - DENVER - Drug agents broke up an aggressive northern Colorado ring that shipped methamphetamine hidden in Tickle Me Elmo dolls and other toys, authorities said Wednesday.

The alleged ringleader was among 19 people in custody, authorities said. Agents said they seized more than 45 pounds of what they described as high-quality methamphetamine worth $864,000 and capable of supplying 4 million doses.

KIDDIES: Imagine this scene in homes…"Mommy, my Tickle Me Elmo isn’t laughing…all it keeps doing is yelling “give me a damn fix kid!”

“SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER”

AP-BURLESON, Texas - A suburban Fort Worth school district has halted a program teaching students to attack a gunman if he invades a classroom, administrators said Wednesday.

The district will continue to train students in how to respond to life-threatening situations but no longer will show them how to take down an attacker, spokesman Richard Crummel said.

Robin Browne, an instructor for Response Options, the security company that provided the training, had recommended that students and teachers "react immediately to the sight of a gun by picking up anything and everything and throwing it at the head and body of the attacker and making as much noise as possible. Go toward him as fast as we can and bring them down."

Lesson Three: When faced with an Uzi, reach for the nearest blackboard eraser and aim for the head of the person holding the gun.

KIDDIES: It would appear to THE COUCH that this would be a great time to begin teaching the old DUCK & COVER move again.

"SCARY MOVIES"

Variety reports Lionsgate has come aboard Fearnet, the horror-themed video-on-demand co-venture between Sony Pictures Entertainment and Comcast that's set to launch Oct. 31.

The partnership, said to be in the final stages of negotiation, marries the two biggest producers of horror films to the first network dedicated to the genre.

Fearnet is the first VOD offering to emerge from Comcast and Sony, created to draw on the thousands of movies and series brought together from the libraries of Columbia Pictures and MGM in the wake of the Sony/MGM merger.

Through the new deal, the channel gets a lock on Lionsgate's immense library of scare pics. Lionsgate has been looking for a focused TV partner to help exploit its library of over 1,000 horror titles -- which include recent hits Saw and Hostel -- since last year.

The movies and series will be free to Comcast's digital subscribers. The company will make money from advertising and from license fees ponied up by other cable ops.

It all begins on Halloween right HERE.

KIDDIES: THE COUCH is very excited by this. When scary movies are on, the people on THE COUCH tend to cuddle in closer, and THE COUCH likes that!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooBOO!

THE COUCH is still waiting on it’s listing over at THE-BESTEST-BLOG-OF ALL-TIME…foot taps impatiently….

St. J - P.B.U.A.Q.B.


Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.


Remember .. Nets For Malaria - UNFoundation.org/malaria - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.


SONG TITLE INDEX:
THE CRAWLING BACKWARD MAN: Tobin Sprout
IF I WERE A RICH MAN: written by: Sheldon Harnick and Jerry Bock
TICKLE BRITCHES BLUES: composer: R.J.Jones
SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER: composer: Alice Cooper
PLAYING IN THE DIRT: composer: Robert Cray
SCARY MOVIES: composer: Eminem

12 Of Your Sparks

  1. Dixiechick Says:
  2. Damn writers block. I seem to suffer greatly from that.

    Was very disappointed that the World Series was postponed last night. What ever rain dance that freakin Duck knows... he needs to FORGET IT!!!! GO CARDS!!!!

    Oh and the Duckmaster uniforms stayed the same... Ann is still ref, Mary's still on first, Turn's still on 2nd and I'm still on 3rd ready to score that HOME RUN!!!! WOOOOOO ;-)

    SMOOCH!

     
  3. Dixiechick Says:
  4. Oops... forgot to say.. I DON'T DO SCARY MOVIES!!! Will cuddle to a cute comedy or romantic comedy or, or... anything but scary... The scariest I get is Halloween Town on Disney... yep.. call me a whimp.. I don't care!

     
  5. Turnbaby Says:
  6. Wow-- you are getting fancy! Certainly worthy of a listing on the bestest blog ever.

     
  7. Coco Says:
  8. First of all - THANK YOU for giving me a valid excuse for ripping that damned evil-sounding doll to shreds!

    Secondly - scary movies? Bring 'em on! One question, though ... what's a VOD?

    Lastly - heck, who needs to throw things? Any single member of my grade 10 music class could drive them out of the school simply by playing a few measures of whatever song they're working on at the moment ...

    hugs from Coco (who has officially finished Parent-teacher meetings and is celebrating by reading her favorite blog!)

     
  9. Bond Says:
  10. DIXIE: might be a month before they resume the WORLD SERIES with all the weather reports I keep hearing....
    Ah...Scary movies are the besteses...wimp! LOL

    TURN: Fancy how...wadd'd I do different???

    COCO: Glad you made it through the conferences...VOD is Video On Demand...rut ro...me thinks that ms. coco's ears are ringing from that music class!

     
  11. Melinda Says:
  12. ok first time I've checked out your blog in forever and the first thing I saw was the Bush count down clock so I stopped reading lol. Yeah thats how many days yall have until the Republican reign continues to shower its blessing on our country. lol

     
  13. Anonymous Says:
  14. From the mind of Meribah:

    Hmmm, Exxon, which makes obscene amounts of money, is now making OBSCENER amounts of money. It's just as I thought: the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting frustrated. (And yes, I know obscener is not a real word, but I like it! LOL)
    I'm not into scary movies...they scare me! The worst scare I ever got from a horror film was Steven King's "It." That scared the living daylights out of me! Okay, puppy is having bad flashbacks and needs to held now! LOL

     
  15. Bond Says:
  16. MELINDA: You stopped reading? And you missed all the other insightful information contained here at THE COUCH...shame shame

    MERI: Obscener is not a word? Wow who woulda thunk it???
    That is why it is better to watch scary movies on THE COUCH

     
  17. Anonymous Says:
  18. Ok, have been bad and not visited the couch in way too long. Baseball talk is ok...not my fav...but scarey movies???? Yippie!!!
    I'll bring the popcorn.
    Hugs, Robin

     
  19. Turnbaby Says:
  20. Forgot to comment on how scary movies are one of my favorite things! My grandmother and I would curl up on the couch (I am NOT making this up) and we'd eat grapes (yes I know) and watch "Chiller Theater". I am scarred for life in just the best way LOL

    Oh and LOVE it that you have added the counter on the 'shrub'

     
  21. Sueann Says:
  22. ummm I don't like scarey movies either...I'm with Meri..they scare me. "IT" terrified me and I had nightmares! LOL! love the Bush Clock...hope it hurries along it's stinkin way so we can get on with saving our boys in uniform.
    Duck and Cover...yes....throw things at a gunman...ummm NO! I say throw things at the idiots that are teaching these children to do such a risky thing....like big rocks! Be sure to read my blog tonight...I posted some important Medical Info for y'all!
    HUGS!!!!

     
  23. Bond Says:
  24. ROBIN: WOOO a scarey movie fan WOOOOO welcome back!

    TURN: ANOTHER FAN ! WOOOOO ummm what is a shrub(besides a bush)...oh wait I get it


    SUEANN: Another chicken sheesh....off to read you

     

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