Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Yes, THE COUCH knows we have been posting late at night the day before, but last evening just got away...
Saw Mr. Hicks on the AMA's and have to tell you..hated the haircut...but it isn't my head so...

Heading out of Memphis today to go home for the holidays...will be spending it with family.... also have to go over to Little League and drain the deep fryer as the concession is officially closed for the season...

Will be the last time
THE COUCH has to do that fugly chore!

Be coming back on Sunday...

Man, hate flying during the holidays almost as much as root canals!

Years ago, we flew alot for business...about 125,000 miles a year. Now it was not fun, though we had some nice trips over the years. It also allowed for a huge accumulation of frequent flyer miles and hotel points.

Son Matt did not fly coach for the first 5-6 years of his life.

BUT, flying during the holidays...YUK

Flying Home
By Duke Ellington

One story that sticks in my mind...

THE COUCH was in Kansas City, just before Easter.

Airport is a total zoo of people.

Kids crying and moaning...parents yelling at the kids...and business folk complaining about the crying kids and yelling parents.

There was a delay at one point, which just added to the fun and excitement and on top of that, it was clear this flight was going to be overbooked - Don't you just LOVE when the airlines do that!

Now, for some reason, there had not been a chance to get into First Class. Normally, when my flights were booked, the main airline we flew automatically bumped us. So it was the cattle car....which we normally dreaded anyway.

So, they make an announcement that boarding will begin and they will be calling by "rows beginning at the back."

At that every person in the waiting area gets on line. Hummmmmm all of these people in the back of the plane?

So now the Airline Lady makes the announcement AGAIN!

A few people move but not many. So, Airline Lady announces that if you get to the jetway and your row has not been called she will not allow you to board.

Few more people get out of the line and we see Airline Lady shaking her head in disgust.

So she begins to call and it looks like things are going smoothly.

My rows are called and we get in line.

About three people in front is a woman with two children, both pulling on mommy.

Mom gets to the jetway and we can hear the conversation...and this is where it gets interesting folks:

THE COUCH NOTE: This is 1998 or so...we have not been hit with all of the intense security procedures we have now.. BUT STILL!!!!!!

Airline: May I have your boarding passes?

Mom: Oh, my husband has them.

Airline: And where is your husband?

(Mom turns around looking -
THE COUCH following her eyes as is Airline Lady)...

Mom: Oh, there he is and she points.

(Dad is about 8 people behind
THE COUCH with two other kids in tow and 4 bags)

Airline: I am going to have to ask you to step aside until your husband gets to the front of the line so we can continue boarding.

THE COUCH NOTE: As per the custom, they HAD announced preboarding for First class, and families traveling with small children prior to general boarding

Mom: No No (she turns and says loudly) HONEY! come on up here you have the boarding passes.

Airline: Please just stand to the side and we can get you on when his turn in line gets here

Mom: No it is no problem - HONEY COME ON!

THE COUCH turns to see dad, now trying to get the two kids and 4 bags past the line of people...and not very kindlt either and one of the kids has begun to bawl as dad drags him along

Airline: Please jst step to the side.

Grumbles begin from the people standing in line waiting

Mom: Here he comes isn't a problem

Airline: YES, it is.

At that point the Airline Lady indicates to the gentleman behind mom to move around her and takes his boarding pass and he - shaking his head - moves down the jetway.

Mom: Why are you letting them on first, we were here.

Miss, you do not have your boarding pass and we have to get the plane loaded and out of here before we lose our clearence and get further delayed.

Well THAT is not fair.

Airline Lady continues to let people around her as dad continues to struggle.

THE COUCH gets to the front of the line, dad is also arriving and almost knocks me down.

I glared at him, decided better of it, handed Airline Lady my boarding pass, looked at her and said, "I am so sorry you have to deal with this, but you certainly handled it properly, people who never fly should familiarize themselves with the rule before they do."

Of course we said it loud enough for indignant (by now) mom to hear.

Airline lady smiled and said, "Sir, you have a tremendous holiday." I can only imagine what tonight will be like...

:::Wayne and Garth dream sequence waving of hands::: do do do do do do do do do do do do

"What do you mean I have to take off my shoes? On these floors?"

"Well, I have to have shampoo when i go away, why can't I take my 100 oz bottle with me."

"I am not taking my sleeping baby out of the carriage to go through the metal detector."

"I can't check these three bags, they contain presents for my grandkids."

"Do you mind changing seats with me, my wfe is in the back row, the middle seat."
(asked of me in row 10 aisle seat). This is always follwed by a totally indignant look, elbow fights for the entire flight and at least 4 trips to "the bathroom", so I have to get up to let him out.

Ah yes....flying the friendly skies...

As THE COUCH sits in the airport today, we will compose our THURSDAY THIRTEEN and post when we arrive home.

Not sure we will be scanning everyone's tomorrow, but will try and make the complete journey through allyour sites thoughout the weekend....not sure we will get a Friday post up but just maybe!

For my friends in the US...HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING...

For those of you outside the US...Wishing you a great Thursday, and a superb weekend...

St. J - P.B.U.A.Q.B.

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.

Remember .. Nets For Malaria - - find the big SI's Nothing But Net logo ... Or call 202.887.9040. Every cent goes to buying nets to place over the beds of children in Africa to stomp out Malaria. PLEASE HELP.

Keep that spark of insanity kids...It helps keep you an individual.

Comoposers: Benny Goodman, Lionel Hampton & Sydney Robin

19 Of Your Sparks

  1. Unknown Says:
  2. Have a safe trip back here.
    Happy Thanksgiving from the Bronx.

  3. tiggerprr Says:
  4. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a fun trip! :)

  5. TopChamp Says:
  6. Have been sat on your page for far longer than I'd meant to (freezing and should be going to get more jumpers, socks, gloves etc.. or turning some heating on!) - thanks to the song for today. Can't bring myself to cut it off.

    Hope you have a good trip.

  7. Have a safe trip and a Happy Thanksgiving.

  8. Coco Says:
  9. This reminds me a lot of the flight coming home with my son for the first time. He had an ear infection, so he cried the whole way home ... all 11 hours and 3 different flights, all of which were overbooked. I had to hold him on my lap the entire time. On the last flight, we were on a one hour hop from Montreal to our hometown, and the plane was so small, we couldn't stand upright. One difference, though. People were so nice and so understanding, I remember the entire experience as a positive rather than a negative.

  10. Anndi Says:
  11. Be safe, have fun, and um.. yuck the deep fryer...

    I have to say, the talking off of the shoes is not my favorite, and I also hate people who act like the airplane and airtravel was invented yesterday and those who think the whole world should stop so they can get off or on..

    Love ya Pal o mine!

  12. BUSY: THANKS enjoy your Thanksgiving

    TIGERPRR: Thanks and you also

    TOP: Glad you enjoyed it I have listened a number of times also.

    DIXIE: Thank you sweetie.. you have a great Holiday

    COCO: Yes, I was not complaining about the kids as much as the parents. Understandably, a crying baby for the entire flight is not my idea of nirvana, but I can deal, if the parent is attempting to comfort them.

  13. Angell Says:
  14. Smiles and happy turkey day to the Spyman.

    Gobble gobble gobble....looking forward to Monday's post.

  15. Safe trip. Happy turkey!

  16. Meribah Says:
  17. I agree, Taylor's hair was a tad too short, but he still looked great! **drools on self...again** Dang it! I just got cleaned up! **puts on fresh shirt** LOL
    Anywhoo, I don't relish the idea of travelling during the holiday season either. The thought of being smooshed together with a crowd of peeps...'scuse me, my claustrophobia is starting to kick in! **breathes into paper bag** Ah, better!
    Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Hugs!

  18. ANGELL: Thank you ..wonderful weekend to you

    BUD: Thanks - you also (well if you are tracvling - if not then just Happy Turkey)

    MERI: Note to self: self buy Meri a bib for the hoidays....Aisle seat only dear ....always aisle seat

  19. Happy Thanksgiving, and have a safe trip!!

  20. Anonymous Says:
  21. Vinny!!! Have a safe trip and a wonderful Thanksgiving...and have a ball with the deep fryer - GACK!!!

    BTW, I'm pretty sure I you on an episode of "Airline" on A&E...!!??


    Oops - almost forgot - Taylor's "new do" - HATED IT!! But, like Meri, I drooled like a big DAWG!!!! Humana-humana!!

  22. JOELY SUE: Thanks!

    PIA: Enjoy yours too.... Did the deep frying this year...
    LOL Airline- funny show!

    Stop the drooling!

  23. Have a very great trip home!

  24. Unknown Says:
  25. Be careful! I've never flown...unless Mr. Hicks asks me to of course I will...but I pray for your safety!

  26. Fred Says:
  27. Safe travels. Have a great time with the family.

  28. Julie Says:
  29. WOW what a story with the airline lady.

    Have a great time with the family, see ya soon!

  30. Justin Says:
  31. Hi Bond, thanks for visiting my blog..I 'll keep on checking your blog whenever I'll get time..

    God bless


Music On The Couch