American Idol Results & Wayback Friday

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Friday, March 02, 2007

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On The Guy Side, Last Night America Sent Home:


Sanjaya is getting the little girl vote and I truly
believe he is also getting the ethnic vote
A.J. is 100 times better then the Sanjaya

On The Girl Side, Last Night America Sent Home:


Once more the public has let me down...
All you young guys - Stop voting for Antonella!
She is NOT worth it!

Another week another .500 record.

Kelly Pickler
The girl has gained serious weight...
carrying a ton of junk in the trunk
and her face is now a round mound of pudgie...
She has been eating ..and a whole lot more then sushi!
BUT...she has bought some things and...
Let me tell you, it wasn't only shoes!
The "enhancement" was very evident!
Loved Ryan asking "Are shoes all you bought?"



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Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Tuesday Is Joke Day
Welcome To THE COUCH...Sit on Down and Get Comfy...

OK, business word yet...but I expect I should hear something by tomorrow the latest...(NOTE: THIS WAS ABOUT MY JOB OFFER- WHICH I RECEIVED!)

We have a new friend joining the Blogging world and have linked to their site....Ladies and gents...welcome Turnberry and her blog "And As The World Turns".

Turn brings her Southern sensibilities to her blog and we here at THE COUCH look forward to reading her thoughts...


I received this in an email yesterday and thought it was a much so, that I illustrated it also:

An old Italian man wants a job. He is a very skilled worker who has worked all his life and he does not want to retire.

The foreman that interviewed him is very impressed by this old man's work ethics butwon't hire him until he passes a little math test.

The old man agrees and the foreman begins: "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat isa easy." And he proceeds to draw.

"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree make a nine," says the Italian.
"Fair enough," says the boss.

"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Old Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you a go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's a dirty tree, and a dirty tree, and a dirty tree. Dat is a 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this nice little old Italian man, so he says,
"All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The old man stares into space again , then he picks up the picture again and this time makes a little mark at the base of each of the trees and says, "Ere you a go. One hundred!" The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

(You're going to love this one!!!)

The old Italian man leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says,

"A little doga come along and crapa by each a tree. So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred."

"So, when ahma gonna start?"


I just loved that one kiddies..... bwahahahahahahahahaha

And I never said I was an artist!


Long day today, I agreed to play in a charity golf outing though I have not picked up a club in over two years, so I must make my way to the range to hit a bucket of balls...

Will spend a whole lot more time on THE COUCH tomorrow...

Thanks for sitting on THE COUCH, hope you enjoyed your stay.


Hope you enjoyed this little trip back in time...

After the weekend...


Hope to see you there


Music Codes: Best Audio Codes
LAUGH: The Monkees; Composers: Phil Margo, Mitch Margo, Hank Medress, Jay Siegel



24 Of Your Sparks

  1. Callie Ann Says:
  2. Agreeing with you on all counts of the American Idol. What a dissapointment. People sure are not voting for talent now are they. Sheezz. Your right I sure don't remember Kellie pickler. Having those Cantelopes on her farm.

  3. Unknown Says:
  4. I thought Leslie would have gone a bit further...and you are absolutely right about Antonella...

  5. Liz Hill Says:

    Couch time again!! LOL Thanks Bondbaby

    Hard to believe my six month anniversary of blogging is coming up

    And the Monkees!!! Yay


  7. Angell Says:
  8. Woooooooo!

    YAY - Monkees!!!

    And as for AI - I have NO idea what the public are thinking these days.

    Leslie should have been around at LEAST one more round, and so should have the guys. Jared and Sanjaya should have gone home.

    And don't get me started on An"tone deaf"ella Barba....

    As for Ms. Pickler....

    I have nothing to say.

  9. Mags Says:
  10. Are you making fun of my Grandpa?


    That was VERY funny. Your drawings totally enhanced it too.

  11. Coco Says:
  12. I remember that post - laughed like a fool before, and again this time. Glasd to see it resuscitated. You should enjoy my post today, Vinny. It features the talent (?) of my English students ... lol.

  13. Coco Says:
  14. did my comment get eaten by the monster? it disappeared ...

  15. Schmoop Says:
  16. Good joke Mr. Bond. I do however have a problem with you using "Turnbaby" and "sensibilities" in the same sentence. Have a great weekend. Tell Jack I said, "hey". Cheers!!

  17. Came by last night as usual and left a comment, but it must have gotten lost in cyberspace.

    Anyhoodle, it's good to be back on The Couch.

    Great tunes for the Wayback Machine - really takes me back.

    Funny, funny laugh-and-groan-out-loud joke, Vinny. Thanks - I really needed that after my ghastly ordeal in the telemetry ward of the local nuthouse of a hospital.

    Big smooches and loads of hugs!

  18. Liz Hill Says:
  19. And this is how my kindness is repaid. *snarf*

  20. CALLIE ANN: nah, looks like she fertilized

    DANA: Just shaking my head

    TURN: Monkees song made sense with the joke

    MATT-MAN: Glad you liked the joke.. hey Jack says HI back

    SONGBIRD: Glad you are feeling better
    Glad you enjoyed the joke

  21. Lizza Says:
  22. Funny joke, Bond! And nice feature, the Wayback Machine. Turnbaby, yeah!

  23. BeckEye Says:
  24. Kellie Pickler looked like Tammy Wynette's slutty niece. What the...?

    Kellie's response to that would be, "Whut's a neeeeeese? Whut's a slutty?"

  25. Meribah Says:
  26. I was a bit shocked that Antonella and Sanjaya stayed too. While I like Sanjaya, his performance the other night was weak. As for Antonella, well, she comes across as being a little full of herself. I don't think she's as good as she thinks she is.

  27. Travis Cody Says:
  28. America is getting it wrong, and I don't think I care.

    Well, I care a little bit. But I haven't voted so my opinion hardly matters.

    I remember reading this particular post and I loved that joke.

    Must admit, I had a drool moment over The Pickler T&A. Quite the pair and quite the caboose!

  29. Tisha! Says:
  30. I go away for just a couple of days Bond baby and you're making major job transitions!? can't leave you alone for a second! much success, you've got that downpack though YOU'RE a star! mouaaaaah

  31. MAGS: lol...never make fun of a grandpa... nope never

    COCO: Glad to bring back good memories.. never got there yesterday..sorry.. on my way now though

    LIZZA: Glad you enjoyed the wayback....

    BECKEYE: See, I thought more toward Dolly Parton, her hero...and I didn't mention what looked like a little nose-job action

    MERI: American was soooo wrong

    TRAVIS: I certainly don't care like I did last year, but it is so sad it has become a popularity contest. Glad you enjoyed the Wayback...I thought she looked old and sad

    TISHA: Belle, that was part of the original post... the job is the one I got here in Memphis - welcome back darling

  32. Anndi Says:
  33. The results: disappointing..

    Miss Spoiled Diva Princess (this is how she comes off) is still in the game.. she has botched her performances 2 weeks in a row and quite frankly she wasn't all that good in Hollywood either. My guess is the conveniently 'leaked' pictures have garnered her interest... next thing she'll have a wardrobe malfunction...

    AJ: performed VERY well, he actually has a very good voice. He didn't deserve to go home. Sanjaya is the Kevin Covais of this year *sigh*

    Leslie: I liked her, the smoky sexy quality to her voice (and she has fabulous boots). I wanted to see more of her, watch her become comfortable on stage... there was a clear difference in that respect this week vs last week where she didn't seem to know what to do with herself.

    Pickler... I don't like commenting on weight and I'm certain she been through a lot that probably stressed her out... BUT... don't dress like that and expect people NOT to comment.
    Ugh the boob job, how desperate does one have to be... not to be crass.. but there's too much there for any one man to handle at once.. unless he has MASSIVE hands.. it's a waste.

    As Claree said in Steel magnolias:

    "It's like watching two pigs fighting under a blanket"

    Kelly.. get a stylist. And with some of that money... buy a clue!
    Good lord, she looked like she wanted to be Anna Nicole Part Deux...

    My Italian joke:

    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.
    Den I come.
    Den two asses come together.
    I come once-a-more.
    Two asses, they come together again.
    I come again and pee twice.
    Then I come one lasta time."
    "You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
    "Who talkin’ abouta sexa? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

    kisssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ;-)

  34. ANNDI: Yes, we agree on the results and the Pickle-head... again, I am thinking Dolly2 her hero

    the joke..well all i can say is

    that is one funny joke


  35. Barb Says:
  36. I was shocked speechless when Sanjaya wasn't sent home! You could even hear the shocked silence from the audience! Antonella should be home now, also.

    I noticed some enhancements on Kelly but thought maybe I just had faulty memory. I liked her song, though.

    *rolling my eyes at the jokes* :P

  37. tiggerprr Says:
  38. Hey there Mr. Bond! :) ITA with you on Ms. Pickler...Ashlyn and I had a total conversation over her new assets. And I definitely agree that she looked old and sad. :(

  39. Tug Says:
  40. I was wondering about the job, too...glad it was clarified in the comments. ;-)

    Totally agree with the AJ statement...and Kelly? ewww. The HAIR? The dress must have been bought 'back when'...she couldn't have been able to breathe in it, could she?

  41. SKITTLES: So was he!!!! No eye rolling here missy

    TIGERPRR: Where was the young girl from last year????

    TUG: I was waiting for it to burst open guess that is why she sang and never moved.

  42. Mimi Lenox Says:
  43. I'm so behind on American Idol. Thanks for keeping me informed.
    Funny joke, Bond. And Turnbaby is a trip!


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