Whimsical Wednesday

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Wednesday, November 14, 2007

OK, so this is starting to become a habit...we have a full day and things are going a mile a minute and then BAM! it is 10:00pm at night and our brain is semi full of barely incoherent thoughts....

Sort of like having 1,000,000,000,000,000 little mini-Matt-Men running around the room that is our brain like a group of toddlers in an overcrowded day care just after they shared cupcakes to celebrate a birthday.....


Television on in the background... ESPN SportsCenter talking about this Pac-Man Jones and his sentencing in Las Vegas. Sheesh...he gets off after the death of a bouncer at the club pleading no contest to conspiracy...and his lawyer is asked 'what is your client's mind-set' and the response is 'to get back to playing football'...DUDE get your life together, you spend more time in police stations than Jack Web for crimminy sake....

OK, OK, we know...'arrested but never convicted'...he is a walking talking illustration to show your kids about how NOT to act...

Sorry...we got lost there for a second..the image of a (would it be a gaggle? a herd? a flock?) of Matt-Men all as toddlers...running rampant...

When we grow up we want good friends like OJ Simpson has made...they are rolling over on him like Ron Goldman's family set this whole thing up....

HEY, if it was someone in my family that the un-convicted killer had murdered, we would come up with a scheme to get him back...

Someone please stop that kid from running with scissors....

The Washington Wild Things play in the Frontier League and are located in Washington, Pennsylvania. Yesterday they tendered a formal offer to one Barry Bonds. This is from their web site:

Washington, PA - The Independent Frontier League’s Washington Wild Things, presented by Washington Federal Savings Bank, have offered a contract to Barry Bonds, according to officials.

A move to the Wild Things’ organization would give Bonds the opportunity to return to the market where he started his Major League career. Bonds debuted with the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1986, playing seven seasons in Western Pennsylvania prior to signing a contract with the San Francisco Giants in 1993. “Many of the great one’s eventually return to where their careers began,” said Wild Things General Manager Ross Vecchio. “Babe Ruth began his career with the Red Sox and then finished with the Boston Braves; Willie Mays started with the New York Giants and finished his career with the Mets; and, of course, Hank Aaron began and finished his career in Milwaukee (Braves & Brewers). This contract gives Barry the opportunity to play once again in Western, PA as he continues his career.”

According to the Wild Things, Bonds’ contract offer includes a base salary as well as a number of incentives. “He will have the opportunity to meet certain bonus levels based on breaking any Frontier League single-season offensive record,” explained Vecchio.

Bonus Level A for hitting 36 Home Runs (record 35 by Morgan Burkhardt in 1998)
Bonus Level A for 101 RBI (record 100 by Pete Pirman in 2005)
Bonus Level A for 86 Base on Balls (record 85 by Burkhardt in 1998)
Bonus Level B for breaking single season record in any of the following categories: batting average, games played, at-bats, runs scored, hits, total bases, doubles, triples, hit by pitch, and/or stolen bases

In addition, Bonds’ contract offer includes other considerations including a single king-sized room when the team is on road; 50% of all net proceeds of individual Barry Bonds/Wild Things merchandise; and The Wild Things will provide Bonds a host family if needed.

Let's review that press release for a second...Mr. Vecchio is equating the Washington Wild Things with the NY Mets and the Milwaukee Brewers (OK, that may not be a stretch!)...what do they put in the water out there in Western PA??????

Now...let's see, 'YO Barry, you can stay with a host family if you do not want to rent an apartment in Washington, PA'...well he might need it...base salary is somewhere south of $2,000.00/month...LOL...

'Oh Barry-dear, come on down and get your Captain Crunch and toast before you go play your little baseball game'

OH and he gets a single king-sized room on the road...and 50% cut on merchandise...

Gotta love this stuff...they are giggling in the Wild Things offices today....'hehehe first we name the team after a character in an off-beat baseball movie and not we are gonna sign Barry Bonds and then we will take over the National League!!!!!! bwahahahahahahahahahha'

"It's In His Kiss" (The Shoop Shoop Song)
(Rudy Clark)
It's In His Kiss

Chart (1964) Peakposition
U.S. Billboard Hot 100 - 6
U.S. Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs - 1
UK Singles Chart - 34



19 Of Your Sparks

  1. (Don't know if my previous comment went through - got an error message from Google.

    What I said was:)

    A gaggle, murder, flock, a whatever of mini Matt-Men?!

    [[running in terror, shrieking]]

  2. Liz Hill Says:
  3. I am somehow imagining the mini Matt-men as the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz!!

    Oh my

  4. RW Says:
  5. Matt-Men all as toddlers...running rampant sounds like a horror movie I watch once.

  6. Turnbaby is dead bang ON with her comment!

  7. Travis Cody Says:
  8. Ditto what Turn said! I think there's a cheesy horror flick in that imagery.

    Attack of the Killer Matt-Men starring the Matt-Man as both hero and rat pack of villains.

    Yikes! I just skeered myself!

  9. Schmoop Says:
  10. Love the Bonds' offer. I must however, protest your use and the comments of your readers that villfy my good name. Cheers!!

  11. Angell Says:
  12. Bond, sweetie...

    Did you get any sleep?


  13. See now I am seeing Matt as Ooompa Loompas. With cupcakes. And scissors. Who needs drugs? Bond provides some very odd mental pictures :P

  14. SONGBIRD: I just knew that visual would haunt many....LOL

    TURNBABY: bwahahahahahahahha

    ROGER: A horror movie that should never ever be seen again

    TRAVIS: And skeered me too dude

    MATT-MAN: Protest away dude..the Homeland security people will giggle as they throw you i a rat infested cell the size of a phone booth, stripped naked and given a little pail to deal with your business...OH OFFICER-THERE HE IS!

    ANGELL: Actually I did...ty smooch

    STARRLIGHT: I take that as a compliment dear friend... LOL

  15. AtriaBooks Says:
  16. That could end up being Bond's best offer.

  17. Tiggerlane Says:
  18. FRY OJ!

    Sorry - but that bastard got off easy last time - and his antics in the courtroom over the last few days? Ugh - the man is a LIAR!

  19. katherine. Says:
  20. where to begin?

    I'm with the Songbird and Turn...the thought of more than one Matt-Man is frightening...

    Bond...you got to get over your man-crush on Bonds...it's over buddy...he just doesn't love you anymore.

    as for OJ...I have considered the same...the whole gig was so keystone...and the fact that the FBI knew days before it went down leads me to believe it was well planned...maybe not by the Goldmans...but..someone...

  21. DOC: Will be interesting to see...

    TIGGERLANE: Really, get it off your chest...don't hold back my friend...

    KATHERINE: LOL It Came From planet Matt-Man
    I think he still harbors feeling though...
    OK, but if it was not the Goldman's, it should have been!

  22. I won't be able to sleep tonight, thinking about hordes of mini-Matt-men taking over the world... you realize that, right???

    Thanks for posting the Mo Show promo!


  23. Schmoop Says:
  24. I am so glad that I am so loved. Thanks Vin.

  25. I just had to come back and see what everyone was saying about the gaggle of mini Matt-Men.


  26. Sparky Duck Says:
  27. someone send the mini matt men here to clean up the house, just send em sober.

    i like the bonds offer, brash, yet intelligent.

  28. Mimi Lenox Says:
  29. I need to re-read this post.
    I'm having nightmares and I haven't even gone to bed yet.

    Flying monkeys? More than one Matt?
    Mini-matt what?

    I really need to pay attention.

  30. Tug Says:
  31. OJ just needs to GO.AWAY. Now would be good.

    The Shoop Shoop Song? I LOVE that song!

    You rock the casbah, seriously.


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