More Christmas, Pleasing your man, Ike

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Thursday, December 13, 2007


Build your vocabulary, feed the hungry...

Staying on theme....well sort of...

Hotel chain Travelodge said husbands and wives named Joseph & Mary would get a night's stay on the house, in Britain, Ireland & Spain, but with more home comforts than the humble stable of the Christian Nativity story.

The offer, appropriately, runs between Christmas Eve (December 24) to Twelfth Night (January 5, 2008).

"The phrase 'no room at the inn' is something that resonates with us in the hotel business," said Travelodge operations director Jason Cotta.

"Therefore this year we have decided to evoke the true spirit of Christmas and invite Mary and Joseph couples as our guests."

A Travelodge spokeswoman said couples will have to be married and provide proof of identity and register their names at a special e-mail address.

Most of you have probably seen this already, but in case you have not...Santa and the reindeer get all jazzy for you HERE

OK, this is for you guys out there (though most of the people who sit on THE COUCH seem to be female), there is a guy out there named Dave Zinczenko, who is Editor-In-Chief of Men's Health magazine and he is telling women how to make us feel better...

So, you ask, what is wrong with that? Well...we are looking these over and they seem more fluff than stuff (note the highlighted words 'nice to throw one his way' below)...Maybe we are wrong...we are SURE the ladies on THE COUCH will tell us if we are, but guys, we want YOUR opinion also...

From an early age, men get hammered with the same message about how to treat women: More compliments, more listening, more romance. That's all well and good, as it should be. But sometimes, especially as relationships progress, men can also feel on the short-end of the fawning stick.

Nearly 70 percent of men say they wish they received more regular compliments from their partner. I'm not suggesting that every guy has to be coddled and cuddled with verbal roses, but every once in a while, it's nice to throw one his way. While guys aren't particularly amped by compliments like "nice eyes" or "you're so beautiful," there are a few, simple things a woman can say to a man that really get him going. To wit: (see we are not sure we like this guy just because he uses the phrase 'to wit' - what a dork!)

1) "Your arms are definitely looking bigger."
Men can be just as paranoid about the way their bodies look as women can be. In fact, nearly 90 percent of men in a national Men, Love & Sex survey say there's at least one body part they'd like to change (42 percent saying they want a new gut). While men don't necessarily want women to lie if they're out of shape, it never hurts to notice he's looking good -- or at least trying to look better. (Like we actually believe that crap)

2) "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."
Guys spend all of high school, the better part of the work day, and at least 12 times a day via e-mail trying to make people laugh. Because men value their sense of humor as one of their most important qualities, a hearty, genuine laugh is as flattering as it gets. (Sorry, that laugh just does not come across as genuine - now LOLOLOL or bwahahahahaha, THOSE are genuine)

3) "Wow."
Doesn't matter whether it comes as he's getting undressed or after you've finished having sex, this short, sweet word (best done in a whisper) may just be the ultimate ego-stroke. A picture may say a thousand words, but this three-letter word sums up roughly 10,000 of them. (This one really ticks us off for some reason)

4) "You the man."
Guys hear this all the time. From other guys. They hear it at work, on the golf course, and when one dude from the group buys the beer. But if it comes from a woman -- no matter the context -- the message is that, hey, we're buddies, too. Which is actually pretty darn sexy. (HUH? WHAT? HUH?)

5) "The kids just adore you."
More than 50 percent of men say that their families -- more so than work and salary -- are what defines them most as men. So when a woman affirms that he's a familial hero, it's a compliment that stretches way beyond anything you could ever say about his haircut. (Not good if he doesn't know about the kids)

6) "What do you think?"
We've all seen it a million times with long-married couples: They engage in cerebral power struggles, where neither can concede on anything -- whether it's the best way to move a piece of furniture or the fastest way to reach the interstate. I'm not saying that men should have the only say in decisions, but some guys do feel like they actually have very little. (Thought this was like in the guy rule book...why is he sharing with the women?)

7) "Cute feet."
Typically, it doesn't matter much to men if women like a part of their body that they don't control, like their eyes, jawline, or body hair. And typically, guys care for the word "cute" about as much as Paris cares for the penal system. One exception: The part of the body that is classified as being especially gross. Tell a guy he has good feet, and somehow he takes it as a double-bagger compliment -- that you not only like his genetics, but also that you appreciate he can keep himself better groomed than the rest of the gnarly-nailed heathens out there. (ummmmm WHAT?)

8) "Meow."
The stats show that 61 percent of men think their partners aren't sexually adventurous enough. While a feline one-liner doesn't automatically qualify as adventurous, it does show a bit of inhibition, and the message is one he likes to hear: That perhaps he's brought a little bit of the animal out of you. (OK, we tend to agree with this one, but it took 7 losers to get here)

9) "Impressive."
Guys love feats. They love accomplishments. They love being acknowledged for their strength, power, and, simply, their masculinity. So a well-timed observation like this one -- whether it comes after he carries a TV to the family room or figures out a way to fix the pipes without having to call the plumber -- feeds into his need to feel like the family protector. (We say again, HUH? What? The hell with that, give us a kiss on the cheek and a grope and say 'thanks' - has this guy ever even had a date?)

10) "I want you."
Women don't need to go on about a guy's eyes or hair or clothes. What a guy really wants to hear is that he's the total package, and this acknowledgment of that -- whether it's referring to bedroom behavior or relationship stability -- is the ultimate compliment of them all. (FINALLY! Guaranteed he asked a woman to come up with this last one, because except for the 'meow' it really is the one we DO want to hear)

Ike Turner, whose role as one of rock's critical architects was overshadowed by his image as the man who brutally abused former wife Tina Turner, died Wednesday at his home in suburban San Diego. He was 76.

Turner won a Grammy in 2007 in the traditional blues album category for "Risin' With the Blues."

But his image is forever identified as the drug-addicted, wife-abusing husband of Tina Turner. He was portrayed by Laurence Fishburne in the movie "What's Love Got To Do With It," based on Tina Turner's autobiography.

In a 2001 interview with The Associated Press, Turner denied his ex-wife's claims of abuse and expressed frustration that he had been demonized in the media while his historic role in rock's beginnings had been ignored.

"You can go ask Snoop Dogg or Eminem, you can ask the Rolling Stones or (Eric) Clapton, or you can ask anybody — anybody, they all know my contribution to music, but it hasn't been in print about what I've done or what I've contributed until now," he said.

Turner, a member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, is credited by many rock historians with making the first rock 'n' roll record, "Rocket 88," in 1951. Produced by the legendary Sam Phillips, it was groundbreaking for its use of distorted electric guitar.

When you take the Sun Records tour here in Memphis, they actually play you the original recording of this song. The guitar was distorted because, as the band drove to the studio that day, the amplifier fell off the roof of the car and the speaker cracked. in an effort to still use it, the stuffed some newspaper into the crack and this gave the guitar the distinctive sound you hear on the record.

But as would be the case for most of his career, Turner, a prolific session guitarist and piano player, was not the star on the record — it was recorded with Turner's band but credited to singer Jackie Brenston.

19 Of Your Sparks

  1. Schmoop Says:
  2. No matter if it's in Heaven or Hell, Ike and Rick James are whooping it up right now. Cheers!!

  3. Julie Says:
  4. Great program by Travelodge! I wonder if they knew Joseph and Mary weren't married though.

    Great rebuttals to the Men's Health magazine article...i often wondered about the intelligence of said mags writers. Oh my! This was the editor-in-chief? Sheeesh!!

  5. RW Says:
  6. I heard that on the news about Ike & I said to myself I bet Vin will do a tribute! Thanks!!

  7. Hey Vinny:

    Meow. That was an impressive post.

    I want you......



  8. I had not seen the Santa thingy... very cute.

  9. R.I.P Ike Turner, you douchebag.

  10. Angell Says:
  11. Wow Vinny. You da man there baby.

    And hey, have you been working out? Cuz your arms look...

    BWAHAHAHA. K thought i could do that with a straight face.

    Must try some of those on a few people I know - I'll let y'all know if it works.

    Good-bye Ike. Rock and roll.

  12. MATT-MAN: Rick James is dead? hehehehe

    JULIE: I will write and ask...LOL Yeah, Editor in chief and a real idjit IMHO

    ROGER: Glad I did not disappoint

    SONGBIRD: THUMP .... you tease

    DIXIE: Ah...glad I posted the link then...SMOOCH

    108: KYRA...So much love much love... =]

  13. ANGELL: OK, you go sit in the corner with Songbird and think how your words cut me to the bone...hehehehehehe

  14. katherine. Says:
  15. Now I know why I am single…the chances of me EVER saying “meow” are none….NONE.

    (btw…I am waiting ever so patiently for your take on the Mitchell report…..ummm hmmm)

  16. KATHERINE: What about a little purr? hehehehe
    I have seen the two names being bandied about Clemens and Pettitte...I have heard there are 60-90 names in the is a black day for baseball and especially for the years 1997-2004

  17. Tug Says:
  18. CUTE FEET?


    No wonder I'm single...


  19. Tiggerlane Says:
  20. This is really insane! These sound like really cheesy pick-up tactics that Jessica Simpson might use...sheesh! All except the last one...which surely, us ladies can come up with something more seductive and erotic.

    Waiting to hear your thoughts on THE report that came out today! (I vote for an all-drugs sports league, myself.)

  21. Anndi Says:
  22. First... I for one am offended at the Travelodge stunt. There are a few things you don't use as a gimmick.. and the fact that the son of God was born in a manger because all the lodging was full is one of them.

    Second... What a load of crap from that arse. Basically, the worst thing that can happen in a relationship is when the other is taken for granted. Too many couples fall into that pattern.

    Meow indeed....

    I'm surprised he hasn't suggested feeding him grapes in Princess Leia's golden bikini...


    In short, excellent puppy house-breaking material. Good thing women probably won't be reading an article in a mens magazine that should never have passed the red-face test if the author was anyone but the editor-in-chief...

    Third... Ike Turner met his maker, he'll be answering to HIM now. Nuff said.

    Thank goodness Santa saved the day.

  23. Travis Cody Says:
  24. I don't think Pam could say any of those things to me with a straight face. And if she somehow managed it, I'd probably fall over laughing.

    I can't imagine any relationship existing solely on platitudes.

  25. TUG: Can you believe it?

    TIGGERLANE: I was amazed by the lines...and the report

    ANNDI: The stunt is too bazaar...Ike was not the best of humans, but he could play guitar

    TRAVIS: I am so so glad that my guests all understood my outrage..

  26. Anndi Says:
  27. and Hitler did a mean quickstep I hear...

    There are some things that wipe everything else out.

    Had he been a child molester would we be mourning the loss of a musician? Doubtful...

    Beating your wife within an inch of her life is appaling.

  28. Liz Hill Says:
  29. Hmmm--I think "I want you" can be said in a LOT of ways--and it needs to be communicated in a way your partner appreciates and 'gets'

    What an EEEEJIT!!

  30. Unknown Says:
  31. Those compliments are I just need a complimentee to give them to!


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