Birthdays...& Not Wordless Wednesday...

Sparks Of Insanity By Vinny "Bond" Marini Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Did The Woz get eliminated? What about Steve O? Was Jewel worth listening to? Any other celebrities end up in an ambulance? All you need to know about the Dancing With The Stars Results Show can be found by checking out TRAVIS of "Trav's Thoughts".

WOOOO...Please do me a favor, and head over to wish JULIE of "Julie's Jewels & Junque a most wonderful BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Julie is a wonderful friend and she brings joy into the lives of those she meets.

She also likes MILK DUDS! more than anyone I know...

Also, head over to my niece's blog (though she rarely posts there anymore), and wish her a big old HAPPY BIRTHDAY! She is AMELIA from "Mad Moons & Tarnished Spoons" fame...

Happy Birthday AMELIA!!!

Friendship is that road we travel that is, all at once, paved with new blacktop, pockmarked with small depressions, littered with garbage left behind by past relationships, destroyed by large craters left behind by those who have passed this way...and finally, at times, completely unrecognizable as a road and more closely resembling a forgotten trial of rocks and fallen limbs.

Yet, as humans we are drawn to friends. those we have known for so many years, those we have met in recent years, those who have just entered our lives and - in the 21st Century, those we have never met before and only know from words on a computer screen.

About 3 years ago, I became a member of a large group of fans of one Mr. Taylor Hicks from the show American Idol. As many of you know, this was the beginning of my blogging life, as I wrote - first on the AI site, and then here - weekly reviews of the shows and the contestants. Think Travis with DWTS only without the flowing literary style.

That experience brought me to all y'all here on blogger. Many people I feel like I am close to, but whom I have never met. As I work on the invite list for my wedding, I am going back and forth between family (only close relatives this time), and friends (real life and cyber life) and trying to decide who goes on the list.

I honestly thought about just saying if y'all want to come let me know and I will send an invite!

You see, this is more a party than it is a 'wedding ceremony'. Both Nancy and I have done the big thing and we just want to enjoy our guests this time.

There are some of my AI friends who I am still very close to and I am hopeful to be able to include as many of them as possible. Then there are some who I was very close to and over the years, that closeness has disappeared into one of those pockmarked craters I mentioned above.

I think about why it has happened and it confuses me. I try not to discuss the disagreements, even when they allude to it constantly when they write posts or emails. I sit and wonder "Should I still invite them?"...because I would like the relationship to be better, I really would. But I am also not going to allow someone to come to the party and make me wish they were not there.

A year and a half ago I had a 'disagreement' with someone on the web over a silly bet. I was furious at the person for a long time, because I felt like I was disrespected by them. Then, things happened in their life and I wanted to accept them as a friend because it made the most sense.

With little fanfare, we were able to put aside our differences from that one bet and now I consider this gentleman a friend.

I am not perfect. I am not the perfect friend. I do things that a good friend should not at times. I do believe I am a loyal friend and I will go out of my way to assist a friend in need.

But I am also not a person to take a slap lightly. If I bring up a point and people want to disagree, that is great.

It is when they refuse to accept my side of the situation seriously, because they are always in the right, well then, I seriously consider walking away from it all.

A wonderful Wednesday Ramble...

It does not settle whether I invite this person or not...but it gives me something to contemplate...I do know that your life can move forward without your having to close the doors of your past...IF YOU WANT. It seems some think they are mutually exclusive...I am not one of those.

20 Of Your Sparks

  1. Mags Says:
  2. I'm still really digging this new template by the way...

    At first I thought you were eluding to the fact that you were going to be doing a tour around the country where you'd come and meet those of us you haven't in real life. Wouldn't that be fun?!

    As for invites to your wedding I personally do not think you should invite someone in order to make your relationship better-especially if this person is a wild card and could possibly end up making you regret your decision. Anyone who makes you feel like that shouldn't be allowed to ruin your day.

    That being said, if you and this friend are on good speaking terms and have been mending your relationship over the last year or so and you've talked things out and THEY'VE gotten over things, then it might be nice to see them. But if they are the reason why things haven't "moved on" (they keep bringing things up etc) then steer clear I say.

    Talk about a wonderful Wednesday Ramble! LOL!!!!

    PS. I'm sorry you lost friends due to them always being right. That's a horrible way to lose a friend.

  3. Bond Says:
  4. MAGS: Thanks ...for the comment about The Couch and for your insight into this situation. Appreciate it so much.

  5. Sanni Says:
  6. Happy Birthday to Julie and Amelia!

    I finally got your email and I guess I was able to reply (internet connection still s*cks and collapsed before I could check the "send"-folder).

    Have a great day, Vinny!

    - fan of the black leather couch

  7. Tug Says:
  8. Happy Birthdays! Please pass the cake, it looks delish.

    If you're losing sleep over whether or not to invite me, I probably wouldn't be able to make it. ;-) Seriously though, I'm with Mags; I wouldn't invite on a wildcard. This is you and Nancy's day, it should be nothing but enjoyed.

  9. Starrlight Says:
  10. I agree with Mags. A wedding is a celebration of one very important relationship and that should be the focus, not fence mending or ego stroking or, worst of all, because they are family back-bending.

    That send you best send me an invite and if money permits I will be there!

  11. Bond Says:
  12. SANNI: I replied to your email and so appreciate your assistance

    TUG: Big slice coming your way...thanks for your comments...

    STARR: guys are great!

  13. Angell Says:
  14. Vinny, first time commenting on the new layout. LOVE IT. But do I still have my seat in the corner? :P

    And as I'm typing this, I'm remembering how we all came together - Taylor's first "single" is playing on my iPod - and I'm amazed and incredibly happy that we're still talking.

    I know I haven't been around much, but you know I'm always here for you and always will be. Do what makes you happy Vinny. You deserve it.

    Very proud to know you.

  15. Julie Says:
  16. Hey sweet man...sorry I haven't been around much...but you mention CAKE and I'm here. I'll try to come back for some R & R soon! That reading and relaxation baby...what were YOU thinking?

    **grabs a biggie piece of CAKE and rushes back to work**

    **throws kisses**

  17. The new layout ROCKS! I can comment instead of just reading!!!! So excited.

    Pass the milk...too much cake around here and not enough milk! Happy Birthday!

    As for your friend, tough decision, but I always err on the side of friendship. They're just too hard to come by in my life. Good luck with your decision, Sweets!

  18. Your wedding should be about you and Nancy and celebrating finding each other after all of Life's challenges. I think the best people to invite are those that you know will be equally celebratory because they love you and/or Nancy and want to share your joy. Whether some are invited or not should be your decision alone (yours and Nancy's) first and foremost not just with regard to hurting feelings or building fences. (If that makes sense.) I understand there are family members and others who are on a "need to be invited" list, but when it comes to others, go with your heart and your gut.

    Sometimes we are reluctant to let a friendship go or run to its natural end, especially when its been a long-term friendship. But, there are times when things just need to end, and that's okay. At some point in time, you just know it's meant to be.

  19. Mimi Lenox Says:
  20. Your wedding party should be free of drama. Period. It is about you and Nancy and nothing should tarnish the celebration. If you are still waffling on the invite, then it's not a good idea. It's your gut telling you "no. wait."
    That's my 2-cents.

    Thanks for the cake. It was delicious.

  21. Bond Says:
  22. ANGELL: Of course you still have your special seat...glad you like the new home...Thanks..I am also very glad that there is still a strong bond in our group...


    RLL: glad you can get here again! Thanks for your thoughts

    SONGBIRD: Your words are so welcome...thank you for are a special friend

    MIMI: TY dear friend..I appreciate your suggestions...Glad you enjoyed the cake.

  23. JohnH985 Says:
  24. I have to agree with the majority. If this friend of yours might cause you misery at your wedding, don't invite him. I agree with you, loyalty to a friend is a great thing. I cherish the friends I have and will do just about anything for them. But over the last few years I have been burned a few times by people I thought were very good friends and am learning that you can't always mend a broken friendship. Sometimes it's best to just say goodbye and move on. And on yours and Nancy's wedding day you don't need any distractions. You don't want to have it in the back of your mind that this person might be a problem, you want to focus on the celebration. So I say if you have any reservations about this person, than don't invite.

  25. ...If you invite Mic to your wedding I'm not coming!...

  26. Turnbaby Says:
  27. *smacks forehead* I knew I forgot a birthday!!


  28. Julie Says:
  29. I'm back! Can I have seconds on the CAKE?

    I always defer to the "be bold and'll regret more what you DIDN'T do then what you DID do" philosophy. So I say concern yourself with YOU! ....and of course NANCY! That takes more boldness then trying to please everyone. Time to be a little selfish dear friend.

    Mimi's little talk about on!

  30. Dana Says:
  31. I've recently experienced one of those little divets in the road of friendship and am hoping - some how - that it can get back to where it was. Thank you for the thoughtful words!

  32. Travis Says:
  33. I've been digging the new Taylor tunes for several days now. I'm liking how different every song is from every other one. And I'm remembering the "old" days and the excitement.

    I wish only the best for you and Nancy when your special day comes.

  34. katherine. Says:
  35. this is much easier to read....

    wedding guest lists can be tough unless you just invite them all.

    You probably know your and your bride will be able to decide.

  36. Dana Says:
  37. Happy Birthday to Julie and Amelia!

    I would love to come to your wedding, but physically it may not be possible, so save those invitations for your family and close friends and know that I will be there in spirit! That is, unless Mr. Hicks is singing at your wedding and I will walk there...


Music On The Couch